This anonymous heart

I’m climbing the world’s tallest mountain.
There’s still such a long way to go.
I started this journey thinking it would be an adventure —
But the path was so much harder than I anticipated.

As I look back, all I can see is the rocks, thorns, snow, ice…
And unspeakable loneliness. 

Not everything has been bad.
I’ve learned a lot as I’ve climbed:
Persistence,
Strength,
Dying to self,
Joy in difficult times.

There were moments when I saw a light on the path ahead.
I believed that if I just pushed a little harder,
I’d reach an easier place —
The road would level,
The slope wouldn’t feel so steep,
And the wind wouldn’t be so cold.

But now, a heavy fog has descended.
I can’t see anything but darkness ahead.
The wind is fierce and bitter.
I am so very tired.

At this present moment,
The journey feels hopeless.
I’m losing strength —
And the will to continue.

Along the way, people have asked me
If I regret starting this journey.
I don’t know.

Maybe I’ll know when I’ve reached the summit.
Maybe I’ll look out at the landscape below
And it will far more beautiful than I could have dreamed.
Maybe the view will take my breath away.

Perhaps I’ll look back at the journey
And the beautiful parts will linger in my mind more strongly
Than the pain ever did.
Maybe the hardship will fade like a distant storm.

And for that possibility —
For that small hope —
I refuse to give up.

As long as I have the strength,
I will continue to climb.

But if you find me along the way
And I couldn’t make it,
Don’t feel sad for me.
Know that I was simply too tired
And my heart too heavy.

If you find me sitting on the path,
Frozen in the snow,
Know that my heart is finally at rest.

But for now,
I put one foot in front of the other.
I press on through the darkness,
Through the fog,
With the last of my strength.

Because this was my promise.